Friday, March 21, 2014

Review -- VRECKLESS VRESTLERS #0

Vreckless Vrestlers #0

(Lukasz Kowalczuk)

Rating: ALL THE STARS EVER

Vreckless Vrestlers is a cathartic explosive shit-storm of crazy-ass gibberish wah-hoolery that satisfies the lizard brain in a way that defies easy explanation.  It's like you suddenly stumbled into Wrestlemania after ingesting a sandwich bag full of blotter acid and somebody asks if you remember Chris Benoit's contributions to the American Heart Foundation while a mash-up of Hulk Hogan and Dave Batista's titan tron themes play at ear bleeding decibels and yet somehow the whole thing catapults you into a tag-team match against Heath Slater and Damien Sandow and your partner is RVD.
No wait... it's not like that at all. It's more like if that Ultimate Muscle cartoon was drawn by Alex Chiu and written by my 98 year old grandma when she was drunk on Manischewitz. It's as ugly as it is awesome and so worth your time.
According to the inside front cover scrawl, Vreckless Vrestlers is about a “professional interdimensional wrestling league with a single obliging rule – NO RULES APPLY.” Especially if those rules include narrative coherence – because that certainly doesn't apply. Which is AS IT SHOULD BE!

Then it gets all meta-texual and declares that: “It's also a comic series presenting fight coverages in strips – broadcasted both in print and digitally. Basically without dialogues – vrestlers fight not chat!”
As far as I can tell, this #0 issue is one of those “get the team together” sort of issues. This pimp-looking dude with a sweet Fu-Manchu stace and leopard-skin accessories travels through time and dimensions gathering fighters to compete in the 59th championship bout. The Manager zaps up vrestlers with beautiful names like the Flatwoods Monster, Spike Lee, Crimean Crab, Barbarica, Sergeant Reptilion, Vegan Cat, The Original Hippie Killer, and The Eye to do battle to satisfy the bloodlust of the universe. It's the interdimensional WWE Network and it's as bat-shit crazy as it is nutso-bongo.
And it's awesome in the way that ECW was awesome in the way that Prison Pit is awesome and that's plenty fucking awesome so Vreckless Vrestlers is awesome and if you want to be awesome then you should get on board with this awesome comic as it will infuse all of your shit with pure awesomeness.
Which is pretty awesome.
You just have to get into the right frame of mind to appreciate it. If you have trouble with goofy nutzo humor or entertainment, if you think Tyler Breeze isn't the greatest wrestler ever to climb into the ring, if you just don't see the entertainment in Sports Entertainment, then Vreckless Vrestlers probably isn't for you (some may say “it's not for everyone”). But if you understand what makes Professional Wrestling one of the true entertainment spectacles for our modern age, then this book is yours, brother.
Get your copy here.

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